Using the military or veteran card in HOA disagreements

/ Owner - May 7, 2011

One of the favorite news stories that the media likes to run (and run and run and run…) is anything that has to do with an HOA/condo and someone who is in the military, has a family member currently serving in the military or is a veteran. This usually has to do with flags or symbols that the person wants to display that somehow violates the documents of the association.  In most cases the association is technically in the right, as with the woman who put a flagpole outside of her condo unit in support of a relative serving overseas – that was common area and she had no right to “take” a portion of the common area for her personal use; or the association that prohibited free-standing items outside the home, denied a flag pole to the veteran who requested permission to install one and when he went ahead and installed it anyway threatened to sue him – a WWII Medal of Honor winner; or the association that prohibited any signage in windows that were visible from the street and threatened to sue a woman for her “blue-star” emblem (indicating a family member on active duty).  In almost every case the association was correct in it’s interpretation of the documents and in EVERY CASE  IT DIDN’T MATTER!

When the owner was fined or threatened with a lawsuit by the association, they went to the media and before you could sing the first verse of “God Bless America”, the board and association was reeling from negative articles which, on the internet, was followed by comment after comment condemning the association’s actions.  In some cases, state legislatures began drafting laws to prohibit any enforcement action by an association when it came to flags or emblems.  One after the other, the associations caved, but not until they’d given a bad name to associations everywhere.

Veterans are not above the law, or the rules, but when it comes to matters they consider patriotic, they basically believe their service gives them certain rights that override all rules.

I could say, you need to use some common sense when dealing with veterans, the military and flags, but rather than wasting a lot of time, let me just lay out what every association should do, not just consider, but actually do.

First, if the association doesn’t have a flag of its own flying by an entrance, clubhouse or prominent common area, get one.  Get a good pole, flag and light, it so you don’t have to take the flag down at night.  If someone in your association has lost a close family member in Iraq or Afghanistan,, dedicate it to them, with a plaque and ceremony when it’s first raised.  Maybe you have a veteran who’s donated a lot of time to the association, then dedicate to him or her.  Make it special.

Next, Federal law says people in associations can fly the American flag  – make sure that, at a minimum, you are complying with this law. Set standards for size, brackets, pole length, etc., but don’t think your documents supersede this law.

If someone wants to fly their flag 24 hours, it has to be lit.  As long as the light doesn’t bother a neighbor, and is attached to their utility box, who cares? But pay attention to the size issue, large flags make more noise and can bother neighbors. Let the owner know that if the flapping bothers neighbors, they’ll have to take it down at night.

If a veteran, or someone who has a child or close relative in the military wants to fly the service flag, let them.  Just tell them to use the same pole as the U.S. Flag.

Why does it bother anybody if someone wants to fly the American flag every day? I don’t think you could find a single person in this country who would think that the daily presence of American flags devalues the homes in the association. Think seriously about removing any time restrictions.

If you have a covenant, bylaw or rule that prohibits putting items in windows, exempt blue and gold-star mothers.  Blue Star Mothers have a child that is or has served in the military.  Gold Star Mothers have lost a child in active service. Do not EVER get between a Gold Star Mother and the emblem she places in the window.  My nephew was killed in Afghanistan last fall and his mother would take out the entire association before she would take that gold star emblem down.

There will always be people who say that the flag, etc are just symbols – that true patriotism resides in the heart.  I happen to be one of those, but the media isn’t.

And it’s not just flags – I’ve seen a couple of dozen stories this year where some guy breaks a rule and when they get fined or receive a nasty letter from the association, they run to the press, and in the first paragraph, it will be pointed out that the guy is a veteran, who served honorably during such and such a war, or was wounded.  It is meant to imply that somehow this person should be treated differently than the other residents in the association – that somehow they are entitled to ignore those things that they choose to.  One has nothing to do with the other, but you come away from the story feeling that somehow he was wronged, even though he was probably in the wrong.  This is a tougher one to deal with.  I got a call from a local paper one day about a story where a man had broken some association rule and was playing the veteran card.  I replied that I believed most veterans were honorable people, who, when they gave their word, as this owner had when he moved into the association and agree to abide by the rules, would keep it.  I commented that I would hate to think that such a veteran could do anything “dishonorable”.  The paper didn’t print my comments, but also dropped the veteran angle when the story was printed.

If someone pulls the “veteran’s card” on you, it doesn’t mean they have an automatice right to whatever they want.  It does mean that you have one more side issue to deal with and to tread carefully.  Make sure any statement thanks them for their service while pointing out why you took the actions you did.

Being a veteran is extremely important to some people.  To many, their time in the service was the most important and exciting thing they did in their life.  My father was such a man, a Navy veteran who served during WWII and Korea.  He kept a flag flying 24 hours at his house, visited schools on Memorial and Veterans Days, worked with local veterans organizations and charities. I’m also a Navy veteran, having served my 4 years during Vietnam.  I didn’t come home to celebrations or parades and the only benefit I’ve received is the ability to buy cheap drinks at a local AmVets post, but that doesn’t stop me from thinking, from time to time, that I served my time and deserve a break or two.  I guess its a mindset.

[Note to those developer attorneys who might actually be reading this – it would be very helpful if you didn’t put a total restriction on flags in the documents.  In fact, it might be good if the developer bought the first flag for the association]

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